


Devotion

by Arress



Category: NCIS
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Complete, Drama, Episode Tag, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 03, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05, Sexual Content, Slash, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-09
Updated: 2011-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-15 13:09:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/161100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arress/pseuds/Arress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yet another tag to the episode, “Requiem”.  After Tony rescued Gibbs and Maddie Tylor from drowning, no one thought to check on him.  Slash Gibbs/Tony, male/male sex, don’t like, don’t read, don’t flame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Missing scene (or should I say missing scenes) that takes place between the times when Gibbs wakes up on the dock and before he goes into the basement to get Kelly’s time capsule. That amount of time could have been as little as a day, or as much as a several days. In my story, it’s several days.
> 
> Gibbs is a little OOC, because he shows other emotions in addition to anger, annoyance and impatience, and does more talking than he usually does.
> 
> There may seem to be some character bashing, but it’s only temporary, I swear!
> 
> Spoilers for “Requiem”, “Chimera”, “Hiatus”, “Missing”, “SWAK”, “Twilight”, “Kill Ari”, “Ex-Files”, general for Season 4.
> 
> This story is not betaed; all mistakes are mine. Thanks, little_janie, for your suggestions and help.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

Chapter 1

Leroy Jethro Gibbs took a deep breath. He was surprised to discover he wasn’t dead. Obviously, Tony had somehow managed to come back for him and had broken the steering column and brought him up to the dock. He rolled his head a little and looked to his side. He saw Maddie lying there. Her eyes were open and she was watching him, looking as wet and cold as he felt. She held his hand in hers. He was very relieved that she was all right. It seemed Tony had accomplished what Gibbs hadn’t been able to do; save Maddie’s life.

He heard someone panting and looked around some more. He saw Tony kneeling between him and Maddie, breathing rapidly and letting out an occasional cough.

Gibbs rolled to his side and reached with his other hand to Tony, who noticed his efforts and grabbed his questing hand.

Tony moved closer to his boss and leaned over him and said between panting and coughing, “If you ever… do anything that… stupid again, I’ll… head slap you… all the way to… Mexico.”

Gibbs didn’t respond to Tony’s words, because it was a given fact that Gibbs would do something that stupid again. He said sincerely, “Thank you, Tony.”

Seeing his wife and daughter again had filled Gibbs with a sense of peace that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. When he’d seen Shannon and Kelly, he’d wanted nothing more than to join them, but he could sense that Shannon didn’t want him to be with them yet. Although she hadn’t said anything to him, he could feel that she wanted him to continue to live his life and find some happiness.

Kelly had even encouraged him to ‘go back’, and so here he was, back among the living again. He knew in his heart that he could finally lay them to rest, knowing his girls were happy and safe where they were. He knew he would never forget them, but he decided to grab that chance at happiness that he could sense Shannon wanted him to have.

He remembered telling Hollis Mann once that he’d put the deaths of his wife and daughter behind him. At the time, he didn’t know who he had been trying to convince more, her or himself. But he knew deep down in his gut that if he said the same thing now, it would really be true.

Gibbs also knew that Tony had feelings for him, loved him even, and had for a long time. Several years before, he’d inadvertently overheard a phone call Tony had made to an old friend when the younger man thought he was alone in the bullpen late one evening, and what Gibbs had learned that night had been very enlightening. He’d never said anything to Tony about it because even though he loved Tony, and had for longer than he was willing to admit, he’d given up on having love in his life. He’d tried to recapture it three times since he’d lost his family, and had failed miserably each time.

With his track record of broken relationships, he hadn’t wanted to ruin the friendship he had with his senior field agent. Having Tony’s friendship and seeing him nearly every day had been better than risking all that in a relationship that he was sure would eventually fail. Looking back at each of his marriages, he could now admit to himself that he’d really been trying to replace what he’d had with Shannon, rather than building something new.

But after seeing Shannon and Kelly, he felt he was truly ready to move on and build something new with Tony, and he wanted love in his life now and he was ready to take the chance with Tony.

Gibbs pulled on Tony’s hand until their faces were close together. Tony looked confused, but then he realized what Gibbs wanted and met Gibbs’ lips with his own and they kissed, neither caring that Maddie was watching them.

Maddie smiled as she watched Jethro kissed the man who had saved them from drowning. She was happy that her best friend’s father had found someone to love. She could see that the man was obviously very important to Jethro. When she’d seen Jethro at the funeral so many years ago, he’d seemed so lost and alone.

Tony and Gibbs were still kissing when they heard a car screech to a stop not too far away. Although he didn’t want the kiss to end, Tony needed to breathe, and he figured Ziva and McGee had finally arrived. Only Ziva could make a car sound like that. Even Gibbs didn’t treat vehicles that badly.

Tony pulled away from the kiss with an incandescent smile on his face. He’d been waiting for that kiss for years and had given up hope that it would ever happen. He looked at Gibbs with a promise in his eyes, “We’ll talk about that kiss later. I need to work the scene and you need to lay there and rest until the ambulance gets here.”

“Tony, I’m fi-”

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re fine, Gibbs!” Tony interrupted, still a little breathless, knowing very well what his boss was going to say. The short time that he’d thought Gibbs was dead was the worst thing he’d experienced in his entire life, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He said firmly, “You were dead a minute ago. I had to do CPR on you. I’m in charge right now, and you’ll go to the hospital and get checked out. I’ll see you there later, I promise.” He got to his feet and continued, “I’ll even clear it with the director so we can do our reports tomorrow, and I can get there even sooner.”

By then McGee and Ziva were there and Tony had work to do. He was breathing easier, but he was still coughing occasionally as he left to look for some blankets, leaving Jethro and Maddie lying there on the dock with Ziva and McGee hovering over them, each of them on a cell phone, Ziva speaking with Abby and McGee calling for an ambulance.

Gibbs wasn’t as fine as he had tried to claim a minute ago. He was exhausted, body and soul, but he was a little worried about Tony. He’d kissed the younger man on the spur of the moment, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. He’d seen the smile on Tony’s face and the promise in his eyes, and he knew that once the work was done, the two of them would have a serious talk. He’d make sure of it.

Actually, resting didn’t seem like a bad idea, and Tony seemed to be okay for now. He promised himself that he would order Tony to get checked out by a doctor once he arrived at the hospital. As he watched Tony walk away, Gibbs allowed the darkness to claim him.

TBC


	2. Devotion Chapter 2

Tony was wrapping up things at the scene. He couldn’t believe Jethro had gone off grid like that. Actually, his boss going off grid wasn’t all that surprising. He’d done it before and he would likely do it again. It still pissed him off when his boss did something like that, though. He was so glad that Gibbs was still alive. It had been much too close this time. When he’d been about to do CPR on Gibbs, he’d told him, ‘Don’t make me kiss you, Boss’. He’d wanted to kiss his boss since the first day he met him, but he’d never wanted to put his lips on Jethro’s when they were so cold and lifeless.

He watched as the last NCIS agent finally left the scene. As acting team leader in his boss’ absence, he had overseen the collection of the evidence and the removal of the bodies. It had been a few hours since the ambulance had left with Gibbs and Maddie. Tony had borrowed McGee’s cell phone shortly after that, as he’d discovered his own phone wasn’t working after he’d jumped in the water, and had contacted the director. He gave her a brief overview of what had happened and she had granted her permission that the team members could complete their reports the following day.

He knew that Abby and Ducky were already at the hospital. Abby had gone right after Ziva called and told her what happened, and as soon as the bodies had been delivered to NCIS, Ducky had gone as well. As the case was essentially closed except for the paperwork and all the suspects were dead, there was no real hurry for their services that night. He’d released Ziva and McGee a little while ago so they, too, could go check on Gibbs for themselves. He knew how important Gibbs was to all of them and he knew they were all worried about their boss, himself included.

Tony had promised Gibbs that he would see him at the hospital, but he didn’t think it would cause harm if he to arrived a little later than everyone else. Maybe once he arrived, the rest of the team would leave so he could spend some time alone with Jethro, and he could give his boss another piece of his mind about taking backup with him the next time he did something so dangerous, and so stupid. And maybe the two of them could have that talk he’d told Gibbs about.

He still found it hard to believe that Gibbs had actually kissed him. Jethro must have known about how Tony felt about him or he wouldn’t have risked doing something like that. He wondered how Gibbs knew; he thought he’d been so careful at hiding his feelings. But it was Gibbs; somehow he always seemed to know everything.

Tony shivered as he finally headed for the company car he’d arrived in. His suit was still damp. Before he went to the hospital to see Jethro, he needed to go home and get out of his wet clothes and take a long hot shower to warm himself up. He probably should have taken his wet clothes off already, but he didn’t have any other clothes with him, and he hadn’t been able to leave the scene before now. He hoped he didn’t come down with something. He thought he might be catching a cold or something, because he’d been coughing on and off since he’d gotten out of the water.

He got into the car and drove to his apartment. He walked into the building and to the elevator which, to his dismay, wasn’t working again. He wearily climbed the three flights of stairs to his apartment, and was surprised that the exertion made his chest feel tight and caused him to be a little short of breath. He was still coughing occasionally, too. He even had to stop and rest a couple of times in order to complete the climb.

Tony reached his apartment and unlocked the door. He immediately headed for the bathroom and pulled off his damp clothes, which he let fall where they landed; the suit was beyond hope anyway. He turned the water on in the shower as hot as he could stand it and stepped inside. He groaned in relief as felt the hot water hit his cold body. After a few minutes he finally started to feel warm again, and the steam helped relieve the tight feeling that had been gradually building in his chest since he climbed out of the river.

When the water began to cool, he stepped out of the shower and quickly dried himself with a towel. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked into his bedroom. He went to his dresser and pulled out some jeans, socks, a pair of boxers, a turtleneck and a sweater. He wanted to dress as warmly as possible.

Once he was dressed, he began gathering his things. He remembered he didn’t have his gun, as he’d had to turn it in so Abby could match the ballistics, and he didn’t need to take his cell phone because it had been ruined in the water, as well as his watch. The phone would be replaced by NCIS, but he was going to have to get Gibbs to buy him a new watch, as well as a new suit and shoes, which were all ruined because Gibbs had been an idiot. It was only fair that he should replace Tony’s ruined things.

He walked into his living room and called the hospital. After identifying himself as Gibbs’ next of kin, he was told that Jethro was ‘resting comfortably’ and would be released in the morning. After he hung up the phone, he realized he’d forgotten his coat, so he walked back to his bedroom to get it out of the closet. As he reached the closet, he suddenly began to cough. He coughed so hard that he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. He stumbled over to his bed and grabbed the inhaler that he kept on his nightstand. He took a hit from the inhaler, but he wasn’t able to hold the medicine in his lungs as long as he was supposed to, but after a few minutes the coughing finally subsided. He put the inhaler in his pocket in case he needed it again later.

Ever since he had the plague, Tony always kept an inhaler nearby; he had one in his desk, one in his backpack and one at home; so if he needed one it was always handy.

He briefly thought about calling Ducky, but then he dismissed the idea, since he was likely to run into the doctor at the hospital anyway.

He started for the closet again to get his coat when he was overcome by another coughing fit. He covered his mouth with his hand, and when he took it away he saw blood, and he had enough wits about him to know that wasn’t good, and really regretted his decision to not call Ducky a few moments ago.

This time the coughing was so bad he wasn’t able to use his inhaler at all. He couldn’t inhale the medicine into his lungs, or hold his breath long enough for it to do any good even if he could. He couldn’t quit coughing long enough to catch his breath and when he was able to draw in a small breath, that set off the coughing again. It was like a vicious cycle. It wasn’t long before he began to see black spots in front of his eyes. He tried to make it back out to the living room to the phone, but he didn’t even make it out of the bedroom. He became so weak and lightheaded from the lack of air that he collapsed to his knees half way to the door and then fell to his side. He didn’t remember anything after that.

TBC


	3. Devotion Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Gibbs opened his eyes. He could see he was in a hospital, probably the emergency room. While he’d been out of it, he’d been divested of his wet clothes and he now wore a flimsy hospital gown. He looked around and he immediately knew something was very wrong. All the members of his team were standing around his bed, except Tony. There was also a woman he didn’t recognize in the room standing next to Ducky, probably a nurse.

Tony had promised Gibbs that he’d see him at the hospital as soon as he was done working the scene. Tony rarely made promises, so when he did make one, it meant a lot. The work was obviously done, as all the others were here. Gibbs knew if it was at all humanly possible, Tony would be here, too. He felt it in his gut that something was very wrong. He tried to sit up, clearly intent on leaving, desperate to find Tony.

Abby placed her hands on his shoulders and easily pushed him back onto the bed, as he was still quite weak. Gibbs hoarsely protested, “Let me go. I need to check-”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Bossman,” Abby interrupted. “Whatever it is you think you need to check on can wait. You need to rest.”

“But I have to-” Gibbs protested again.

This time Ducky interrupted, very sure of himself as to what, or who, his friend was so concerned about, “Jethro, the young lady you’re so worried about is fine. She’s already been released to the care of a friend.” He signaled the nurse to give Gibbs the injection he had convinced the ER doctor Jethro needed. “You’ve been running yourself ragged the last two days, my friend, and after your dip in the water, and given the fact that you were slightly hypothermic when you were brought in, I will not allow you to check yourself out of the hospital prematurely. You are in no condition to go anywhere or do anything.”

While Ducky had been talking, the nurse had inserted the needle into the IV line in the back of Gibbs’ hand and pushed the plunger down.

Gibbs protested, “But somebody needs to… ” His words trailed off as the drug took effect and he lost consciousness.

“Are you sure that was a good idea, Ducky?” Ziva asked the ME. “He is going to be very angry when he wakes up.”

“If he is, then I will just quote rule number eighteen for him,” Ducky said.

“Rule eighteen?” Ziva questioned.

“Yeah, it’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission,” Abby explained. “The bossman does it to the director all the time.”

“I’ll make sure I’m not anywhere around when that conversation takes place,” McGee commented.

“Well, it was for his own good,” Ducky stated. “If Jethro had not been sedated, he would most certainly sign himself out of the hospital, and possibly cause himself even more harm.”

“Perhaps you are right, Ducky,” Ziva reluctantly agreed. She was very glad that it had not been her idea to give Gibbs the drug, though. She could very well imagine her boss’ reaction when he woke up, and like McGee, she didn’t want to be anywhere near when Gibbs confronted Ducky about it.

“There is no need for any of us to remain here,” Ducky said. “The ER doctor said that Jethro can sleep off the sedative here in the ER and as long as there are no complications, he can be released in the morning. One of us can return then to give him a ride home.”

“I’m not leaving him,” Abby said stubbornly. She wasn’t going to let anything keep her from her silver-haired fox.

“This is an emergency room, Abby dear,” Ducky chided. “Only immediate family members are allowed to stay with the patients. You’ll not be allowed to sit here in this room with him all night.”

“But Gibbs is family,” Abby protested.

“Be that as it may, they only recognize blood relations, spouses and legal next of kin as immediate family,” Ducky explained.

“I’ll sit in the waiting room then,” Abby said. “That way, I’ll be here if he needs anything.”

“I can stay with you, Abby,” McGee offered. “I’ll just leave the boss’ go-bag here on the chair.”

Ziva added, “I will also stay with you.”

“I guess it’s unanimous then,” Ducky said. “We’ll all wait in the waiting room for Jethro to wake up.”

All four of them left Gibbs sleeping on the hospital bed. The nurse remained in the room to check her patient’s vitals again.

Not one of them wondered why Tony wasn’t there, or even gave him a thought at all.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs woke up slowly. His gut began churning as he remembered what happened earlier. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was close 0300. He heard someone approach the door and he feigned sleep. He didn’t want any more surprise sedatives put in his IV, and he didn’t have the time to argue with anyone.

He opened his eyes just a little so he could see what was going on. A nurse came into the room. She checked his blood pressure, pulse and IV line and then listened to his lungs for a minute. She wrote some notes in a chart and then left the room, quietly closing the door behind her. Gibbs figured he had a while before anyone returned to check on him again, so he climbed out of the bed and walked over to the phone on the wall, his IV line barely giving him enough slack to reach it. He was grateful to note that his earlier weakness was gone.

Gibbs called Tony’s home phone and let it ring several times, but there was no answer. His gut began to churn even more. He didn’t bother to try Tony’s cell phone, because he was sure it had been ruined when he jumped in the water. He had a feeling that time was of the essence.

He saw his go-bag sitting on a chair and figured someone from his team had left it there for his eventual discharge. He removed the needle from his hand and quickly got dressed. He looked around the room and found a plastic bag under the bed that contained his wet clothes. His watch, wallet and keys were in the top drawer of the bedside table. He retrieved his knife from his wet pants and cut the ID bracelet from his wrist and threw it in the trash can. He gathered all his things and walked over to the door. He opened it a crack and poked his head out. He didn’t see anyone in the hallway so he slipped out of the room.

The nurses’ station was to Gibbs’ right and the waiting room to his left. He actually recognized the hospital now. He’d become well acquainted with it over the years, due to his own visits there and those of the agents on his team. He didn’t see the nurse who’d just visited him, so she must have been in another treatment room.

Gibbs decided to walk down the hall like nothing was amiss. Since he was wearing street clothes and had cut the hospital ID bracelet from his wrist, if he happened to run into any hospital personnel, they likely wouldn’t realize that he was an escaping patient. He passed the waiting room and glanced through the doorway. He saw Ducky, Abby, McGee and Ziva all dozing in chairs, probably waiting for him to be discharged.

He kept walking down the hall. Those were the people who wouldn’t listen to him or let him leave so he could check on Tony. Since they were all here at the hospital, it was obvious to him that no one was with Tony. His gut was telling him that Tony needed him. He didn’t want to talk to any of them right now because he didn’t want to waste any more time arguing with them.

He reached the exit and left the building. He saw a pay phone not too far from the door and called a cab. He even offered to pay the cab driver an extra 20 dollars if the cab could get there to pick him up within ten minutes.

After he hung up the phone, Gibbs waited impatiently for the cab, but it actually did arrive within ten minutes. He got in and handed the man a 20-dollar bill. He gave the driver the address to Tony’s apartment building. He also told the man if he got him there within 15 minutes he’d double the fare.

Gibbs reached Tony’s apartment building in record time and gladly paid the double fare. He used his emergency key and let himself into the building and ran up the stairs. He unlocked the door to Tony’s apartment and went inside. He tossed his bag of wet clothes in the corner and searched the apartment for Tony.

He could hear someone wheezing as he walked down the hall to the bedroom and he ran into the room and saw Tony lying on his side on the floor. Gibbs’ gut had been right. Tony was really sick and could barely breathe. His lips were blue and he had dried blood on his chin. Gibbs ran to Tony’s side and pulled him across the floor to the bed and propped him up against its side. He remembered when Tony had the plague that he could breathe easier if he was sitting up.

Gibbs left Tony in the bedroom and ran to the living room and called 911. After he finished the call, he opened the front door and then headed back to the bedroom to sit with Tony until the paramedics arrived.

When he reached Tony’s bedroom, he found him just the way he’d left him, on the floor leaning against the side of the bed. Nothing much frightened him, and he prided himself on that, but seeing Tony’s blue lips and hearing his loud wheezing scared him, a lot, but it did seem to be a bit better now that he was sitting up. He ran over to Tony and pushed him forward a little bit and then slid down between him and the bed and then wrapped his arms around him in order to hold him upright.

As he held the sick man, Gibbs kissed the side of his head and whispered in his ear, “Don’t forget, Tony, you don’t have my permission to die.”

A short time later the paramedics arrived and Gibbs was shoved out of the way so they could work on Tony. Gibbs told them what had happened the day before and also about Tony’s history of having the plague, which earned him a couple of disbelieving looks, but in short order the paramedics had placed Tony on oxygen, inserted an IV and loaded him on a gurney to take him to the waiting ambulance.

As they left the apartment with Tony, Gibbs followed, refusing to be left behind.

TBC


	4. Devotion Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Gibbs was denied entrance to the treatment room the paramedics had taken Tony into. He wanted nothing more than to be with Tony, but he knew he should stay out of the way so the doctors and nurses could work to save the younger man’s life.

He turned and saw the other members of his team standing just outside the waiting room door down the hall. They were looking at him in shock. He guessed the commotion caused by the gurney being pushed down the hallway had awakened them and they had just witnessed the mad rush to get Tony into a room while a paramedic was forcing air into his lungs with an Ambu Bag. He angrily stalked by them and into the waiting room. He wasn’t very surprised when all of them followed him inside. He began to pace around the room. He didn’t really want to speak to any of them; he was much too angry

“Gibbs, what’s going on?” Abby asked anxiously, unnerved by Gibbs’ obvious anger. “What’s wrong with Tony?”

When Gibbs didn’t answer, Ziva said, “Gibbs, we are a team. We deserve to know what is going on.”

“Yes, Jethro,” Ducky said. “When did Anthony become so ill?”

Gibbs ignored all their questions. He stopped pacing and glared at each of them in turn, his fury obvious. “Did any of you check on Tony since I was admitted?” He finally asked, the question sounding more like an accusation.

“Gibbs, we were just so worried about you-” Abby started to say.

Gibbs cut her off angrily, “All of you know that Tony’s lungs are compromised. Did it occur to any of you that he might need help after what he did yesterday?”

“We just figured he helped you get Maddie out of the water,” McGee explained.

Gibbs shook his head. It was so like Tony to not brag if he did something truly great, but he would brag endlessly about finding a little lead on a case or about his ability on the basketball court.

“Well, I’ll tell you what he ‘just’ did,” Gibbs said, anger in his voice. “He killed the men who tried to kill me and Maddie. He dove into that filthy, freezing river to save both of us from a submerged car. He broke out the windshield and pulled Maddie out. Then he came back for me. He had to break the steering column because I was trapped. On top of all that, he gave both of us CPR.”

Gibbs sent a venomous glare Ducky’s way. “If I hadn’t been drugged against my will, I could’ve told you that before.”

Ducky met Gibbs’ glare with eyes full of remorse. “Jethro, I am sorry, but Anthony didn’t say a word about any of that.”

“Do you really think he’d brag about it?” Gibbs asked.

“I can’t believe he did all that,” McGee said in disbelief.

“Believe it, McGee. He’s not the bumbling idiot that you and Ziva seem to think he is.”

“Gibbs, we don’t believe that about Tony,” Ziva protested.

“The way you treat him sometimes makes me think otherwise.” Gibbs glared at the two of them. He took a deep breath in an effort to calm down. “I found him unconscious on the floor in his apartment. I could hear him wheezing all the way in the next room. He nearly died. He might still die. He stopped breathing in the ambulance and they had to put a tube down his throat and breathe for him.”

Abby twisted her hands anxiously and said softly, “Gibbs, we didn’t know that-”

“I don’t care!” Gibbs shouted. “You say we’re a team? You have enough devotion for each other and for me; enough that you’ve been sitting together in this waiting room the whole damn night. Where was that devotion for Tony? Not one of you gave him a first thought, let alone a second one!”

Ziva looked at the floor. “Gibbs, we just thought he-”

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses. None of you deserve to be here. Get the hell out! Now!”

Ducky, ever the peacemaker, tried to reason with his angry friend. “Jethro, we’re all very concerned about Anthony. We’d like to stay and-”

“Your concern is too little, too late, Doctor. I’m Tony’s next of kin, power of attorney and medical proxy. It’s my decision who can see him when he can’t speak for himself, and I want you all to leave.” With that Gibbs turned and left the room and went to stand near the closed door of the treatment room where Tony had been taken to anxiously await news on the man who’d become the most important person in his life.

XXXXXXXXXX

After Gibbs left the waiting room, the four people remaining reluctantly left the emergency room. Once outside the door, they stopped to talk. They needed to decide what to do.

“Oh, God,” Abby said, distraught. “I feel so bad. He’s my friend and I totally forgot all about him.”

“Gibbs is right,” McGee commented. “One of us should’ve checked on Tony. We should’ve wondered why he wasn’t here at the hospital. He would’ve been here if he was able.”

“He is our partner,” Ziva added. “We shouldn’t have been so concerned about Gibbs that we forgot about Tony.”

“He was carrying on so much when we were on the Chimera,” McGee said. “Then when he really is sick, he doesn’t say anything.”

“Tony could’ve called one of us,” Abby said. “He knows that, right? He knows we care about him.”

“I also bear the responsibility of not checking on Anthony, perhaps more than the rest of you,” Ducky stated sadly. “However, rather than stand around discussing what we or Anthony could or should have done, we need to try to find a way to make it right.”

“How can we do that, Ducky?” Ziva asked. “I have never seen Gibbs so angry.”

Ducky took his cell phone out of his pocket and hit a speed dial number. As he was waiting for an answer he said, “The first thing we can do is call for reinforcements, so Jethro and Anthony are not here alone.” When his call was answered he said, “Jennifer, I’m sorry to awaken you so early, but we have a situation… ”

XXXXXXXXXX

Following the phone call from Ducky before the crack of dawn, Jenny made it to the hospital in record time. She approached the four people standing near the entrance to the emergency room. “What happened?”

Ducky answered for the group. “We don’t really know for certain. We left Jethro sleeping in a treatment room some hours ago, and the next thing we knew Anthony was being brought in by paramedics, with Jethro following. Anthony seemed to be in very bad condition. He wasn’t breathing on his own.”

“Why aren’t you in there with Gibbs?” Jenny asked.

“Jethro is very angry with us because none of us thought to check on Anthony after his heroic efforts at the dock yesterday, and he told us to leave,” Ducky explained.

Jenny was quiet for a minute while she thought about what to do. “Why don’t all of you go home and get some rest for a few hours before you have to go to work. I’ll deal with Jethro.”

“But, Director, we really messed up and we want to be here for Tony,” Abby said. “We didn’t know that he rescued Gibbs and Maddie from drowning and broke out the windshield and spent so much time in the cold water-”

Jenny cut her off, “I know you’re all worried and want to be here for both of them, but if Gibbs really doesn’t want any of you here, it’ll only cause trouble for them if you stay. Just go home and I’ll contact you at NCIS headquarters later and let you know what’s going on.”

Tony had given Jenny a brief explanation of what had happened at the dock when he’d called her the previous day. From what she was hearing, she deduced that Tony hadn’t bothered to tell anyone else, particularly the team, exactly what he’d done when he’d rescued Gibbs and Maddie Tylor.

“But, Director-” Ziva started to protest.

“I gave all of you an order and I expect it to be followed,” Jenny said firmly. “Abby, you have evidence to process; Ziva and McGee, you have reports to complete; and Ducky, you have autopsies to perform. Go home and get some rest so you can work more effectively later. I’ll contact you, I promise.”

The four worried people were reluctant to do as she ordered, but they eventually left. The director waited until they all walked away and then entered the emergency room. She could see Jethro down the hall standing near a treatment room staring at the closed door; obviously the door to the room Tony was in. She walked up to Gibbs and asked, “Jethro, what happened? Tony sounded fine when he called me yesterday.”

Gibbs dragged his eyes away from the door to look at the director. “What are you doin’ here, Jen?”

“Ducky called to tell me Tony was brought in. Now, tell me what’s going on.”

“Tony’s fighting for his life; that’s what’s goin’ on!” Gibbs said, his anger getting the better of him again. “Thanks to those imbeciles I kicked outta here a while ago!”

TBC


	5. Devotion Chapte 5

Chapter 5

Jenny was worried about the two of them getting kicked out of the hospital because of Gibbs’ shouting. “Let’s go to the waiting room so we can talk in private, Jethro.” She grabbed him by the arm and led him toward the waiting room down the hall.

Gibbs went willingly, but said, “What if the doctor comes out to talk to me?”

“The doctors know to check the waiting room, Jethro. Now, come on.”

The two of them made it to the waiting room and Jenny closed the door behind them. There was no on else there because of the early hour. She turned to face Gibbs. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Gibbs explained the events from the time he woke up on the dock and finished with, “So, I kicked their asses outta the hospital. None of them deserve to be here.”

“Jethro, I just finished talking with four very worried people. You shouldn’t be so hard on them. You know they care about Tony.”

“Ducky’s his doctor and he knows that Tony’s lungs are compromised. He should’ve checked Tony out himself or made sure he was checked out by paramedics. At the very least, one of them should have called to check on him when he didn’t show up at the hospital.”

“I didn’t realize Tony’s lungs were that bad,” Jenny commented. “Maybe he doesn’t belong in the field.”

“They’re not bad enough to keep him out of the field,” Gibbs insisted. “He’s like an asthmatic, and NCIS has plenty of good agents with asthma. It doesn’t affect his ability to do his job. He just needs to carry a rescue inhaler. Only Ducky and I know about that. It isn’t part of the job description to jump into freezing cold water.”

“Are you going to blame me, too?” Jenny asked. “I’m the one who sent him after you.”

“Of course not! You were just doing your job.”

“Well, Tony was just doing his job. He knows the risks,” Jenny said. “And I don’t think the members of your team knew what exactly happened at the dock.”

“That doesn’t excuse them from not looking out for Tony, especially Ducky.”

“Jethro, I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but you were the one who took off without backup,” Jenny pointed out. “You should’ve known that Tony would have your six.”

“I didn’t ask him to jump in the river,” Gibbs protested.

“But he did, and if he hadn’t jumped in the river, you and Maddie Tylor would both be dead. Would that have been a better outcome?”

Gibbs glared at the director. Damn her for pointing that out. He didn’t want to admit to himself, or to anyone else for that matter, that he might be partially to blame for Tony’s present condition. He also didn’t want to think of the possibility that Kelly’s friend would be dead if Tony hadn’t jumped in the water to save him and Maddie, which had led to his sudden illness. So, he did what he always did when he didn’t want to talk about something; he turned and left the room.

Jenny knew better than to try to convince Gibbs that he was just as responsible for Tony’s condition as the rest of the team, Tony included, so she let him walk away. After a few minutes she left the waiting room to go look for Gibbs.

She found him outside the treatment room door where she’d found him the first time. She wisely didn’t bring up the subject they’d just been discussing. “Have you heard anything about his condition yet?”

Gibbs turned to face her. “Someone came out and got some equipment and went back in. Somebody else went in with one of those portable x-ray thingies. Then I spent half an hour filling out paperwork. Since I got back here, no one has told me a damn thing.”

“I’m sure they’re busy helping Tony right now, and someone will come and talk to you when they can.”

XXXXXXXXXX

After what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few more minutes, a doctor came out of Tony’s treatment room to talk to his next of kin. As the doctor began saying things like ‘aspiration pneumonia’, ‘ARDS’ (acute respiratory distress syndrome), ‘anoxic brain injury’, and ‘mechanical ventilator’, Gibbs began to wish that he hadn’t kicked Ducky out of the hospital, as he made a pretty good translator for all things medical.

Other terms like ‘compromised lung function’ and ‘coma’ he knew of and were the two things the doctor mentioned that he did understand well.

From what Gibbs could gather from the doctor’s explanation, it seemed Tony had accidentally inhaled some dirty water when he’d jumped in the river, which had caused the rapid onset of pneumonia. The pneumonia led to the respiratory distress, which caused Tony’s collapse. There was no way to know for sure how long Tony had been without enough oxygen before he’d gotten medical treatment. It all boiled down to the fact that Tony was very sick, and it wasn’t at all clear whether he would live or not; if he did live, whether he would wake up from the coma or not; and if he did wake up, whether he would have brain damage or not.

Gibbs refused to entertain either the idea that Tony could die or that he might be impaired in any way when, not if, he woke up.

The doctor told them Tony would be taken to the ICU in a few minutes and then he told Gibbs and Jenny they could wait for him in the ICU waiting room. He explained that once Tony was settled, they could finally see him, and he would join them there.

Before the doctor left, Gibbs asked him to contact Dr. Pitt so he could come and take a look at Tony, because he was familiar with Tony’s history, and the doctor said he would arrange it. Gibbs was also more familiar with Dr. Pitt and knew the man would talk to him in a language he could understand, since Ducky wasn’t here to translate for him.

Gibbs and Jenny made their way to the ICU waiting room, and after about 15 minutes the doctor came to get them and he led them to Tony’s room. He told them what they could expect and then told them about the ICU rule that Tony was allowed a visitor once an hour for five minutes at a time.

Jenny could see from the look on Gibbs’ face that he was about ready to explode when he heard that information. “Don’t worry, Jethro, I’ll handle this.” She gave him a gentle shove towards Tony’s room.

Gibbs allowed himself to be pushed in the direction of Tony’s room because he wanted to see Tony more than he wanted to shout at the doctor, but that didn’t stop him from shooting a deadly glare over his shoulder at the doctor as he entered Tony’s ICU room.

He took in Tony’s appearance. His skin was nearly as white as the blanket that covered him. He was hooked up to a machine that was breathing for him and he had leads attached to his chest that led to a heart monitor, which beeped with reassuring regularity. There was a blood pressure cuff wrapped around one of his arms which began to inflate even as Gibbs stood there watching. A few IV bags hung from a pole at the head of the bed with tubing that led to a needle stuck in the back of his hand. All the equipment and medicine attached to Tony drove home to Gibbs just how sick Tony really was.

Gibbs felt his heart clench in his chest as he approached the younger man, momentarily afraid to touch him. He overcame that fear and took Tony’s hand in his. He leaned in close so he could speak directly into his ear, “Tony, I’m here and I’m not leaving. Don’t you dare die on me, you got that?”

Then he sat in the chair next to the bed and settled in for what he was sure was going to be a long wait, never letting go of Tony’s hand.

After a few minutes, Jenny entered the room and stopped when she was standing next to Gibbs. When he looked up at her she said, “Jethro, I’ve known you for a long time and I’ve never seen you act like this when a member of your team was injured or sick before. Care to tell me what’s different this time?”


	6. Devotion Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Gibbs sighed deeply, debating on what and how much to tell Jenny. He wasn’t the type of man who usually spilled his guts, but he’d been on an emotional rollercoaster for quite a while, starting from when Maddie Tylor had walked into his life again a few days ago, and he was just about at his limit. Also, given his previous involvement with Jenny, she might not be the best person to talk with about this particular subject.

He finally asked, “Who am I talking to right now; the director of NCIS, my former lover or my friend?”

“I’ve always been your friend, Jethro, regardless of what else I’ve been.”

Gibbs thought for a minute and then decided if being in a relationship with Tony was going to be a problem on the job, he’d simply retire. He’d lived for nothing but his job for a lot of years and he figured if there was going to be a problem, he’d rather not work at NCIS at all rather than have Tony transferred from his team. He steadfastly didn’t think that if Tony didn’t recover, none of that would matter anyway.

“I love him, Jen.” Gibbs glanced up at Jenny to gauge her reaction to his blunt statement.

“I didn’t realize you two were… ” She trailed off, unsure of what words to use to label their relationship, but it suddenly became clear to her why Gibbs was displaying such an extreme reaction to Tony’s illness.

“Oh, we’re not. At least, not yet.”

“Is this something you’ve just realized because you nearly died yesterday?”

“More like something I’ve just acknowledged because I did die yesterday.” No way was he telling her about seeing Shannon and Kelly when he was dead. That was something he’d only share with Tony.

“Do you know if Tony returns your feelings, Jethro?”

“Yeah, he does.”

Jenny smiled. “I didn’t realize you swung that way.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Jen.”

“As far as I’m concerned, if you and Tony love each other, gender isn’t really an issue. I’ll pray for Tony to get well so you two can be together.”

Gibbs looked at her in surprise.

Jenny chuckled. “Not the reaction you were expecting?”

“Not exactly.”

“Jethro, I know I missed my chance with you a long time ago, and I’ve accepted it and moved on. Now, all I want is for you to be happy. If you can find that happiness with Tony, then I’m happy for you.”

“That’s an awful lot of happiness, Jen.”

“Well, you both deserve a lot of happiness.”

“What about work?”

“As long as you keep it out of the office, then the director in me doesn’t have a problem with it.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

Jenny looked at her watch. “Jethro, I’ve convinced the doctor to overlook the rules and let you stay in here with Tony.”

“How’d you manage that, Jen?”

“Let’s just say that being the director of an armed federal agency has its advantages sometimes.”

“Thanks. I don’t want him to be alone.”

“I need to get to the office. Let me know if there’s any change,” Jenny said as she started to leave. When she reached the door she turned to face Jethro again. “And call me if you need anything.”

As the director walked away, Gibbs called, “Jen, I really need some coffee.”

Jenny turned back and chuckled. “I’ll ask one of the nurses to bring you some on my way out.” She winked, “Oh, Jethro, give Tony a kiss for me.”

XXXXXXXXXX

In the four days since Tony had been put on the respirator, Jenny had stopped by a couple of times a day to bring Gibbs food, clothes and books, and to get updates on Tony’s condition. She left the subject of the rest of team alone, for which he was grateful. He couldn’t think of much besides Tony, and how afraid he was that he could lose him before he’d ever really had him.

Gibbs didn’t know for sure, but he thought that maybe Jenny had paid the nurses to supply him with coffee regularly, because every couple of hours without fail, one of them brought him a fresh cup.

He couldn’t stand it that Tony was so quiet and still. He wasn’t used to seeing Tony like that. The younger man was usually so full of life; always on the move, cracking a joke, teasing his coworkers, playing a prank or making inane movie references. The only movement from Tony now was the rise and fall of his chest as the ventilator forced air into his lungs, and the only sounds were the hiss of the ventilator and the beeping of the heart monitor. Gibbs would give just about anything to see Tony smile and to hear his laughter.

The only time Gibbs left Tony’s room was to shower and change every day, and he always rushed so he wouldn’t be away from the younger man for very long.

Dr. Pitt had stopped by a few times, and explained to Gibbs how Tony’s treatment was going. None of the doctors held out any hope for Tony’s recovery, but Gibbs didn’t want to give up on him.

One of the nurses told him that patients in comas recovered more quickly if someone talked to them, so Gibbs talked more to Tony than he had in his entire life. He sat in the chair next to Tony’s bed and held his hand as he told him about his childhood, his time in the marines, his life with Shannon and Kelly, and cases he’d worked on over the years. When he ran out of stories to tell, he read to Tony aloud.

When he was exhausted and coffee couldn’t keep him awake any longer, he would lie down on the cot in the corner of the room the nurses had provided for him and fall into an exhausted slumber.

Gibbs hated to admit it to himself, but he actually missed the other members of his team. The nurses kept him informed of the many phone calls they received asking about Tony’s progress. Gibbs was still angry with them, though, because of what he saw as their neglect of Tony and he didn’t contemplate the idea of lifting the ban keeping them from visiting.

On the fourth night of Tony’s coma, Gibbs thought about the agreement he and Tony had made a couple of years before when he’d returned from Mexico, after Tony had gotten over what a bastard Gibbs had been to him when he took his old job back anyway.

Once they were getting along better, Gibbs and Tony had a long talk and had decided to make each other his medical proxy, next of kin and power of attorney, so each of them would have someone to speak for him if he couldn’t speak for himself. They had decided on a five-day limit for life support, after which it would be removed, come what may.

Tony had admitted to Gibbs that he’d been shaken when he visited him in the hospital and saw him in a coma and on a respirator. Everyone had thought Gibbs’ father was dead, so no family member had been advised of Gibbs’ situation. At that time, Gibbs hadn’t had anyone to speak for him, and neither Gibbs nor Tony liked to think about what would have happened if Gibbs hadn’t come out of the coma. Tony didn’t like the idea of being on life support indefinitely either; hence, the five-day limit.

Gibbs still hadn’t told anyone about his father. He would have to rectify that when Tony woke up. Tony deserved to know everything about him, and Gibbs would make sure that he did.

Now, on the fourth night of Tony’s coma, with no sign that the younger man was getting any better, Gibbs thought about that five-day limit. On one hand, he didn’t want to give up on Tony, but on the other hand he’d made a promise to the younger man, and he knew he’d have to keep it. If Tony wasn’t better by the next morning, he’d be taken off the respirator, and if he didn’t start to breathe on his own, Gibbs would have to let him go. He hated that thought more than anything.

TBC


	7. Devotion Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little warning for supernatural in this chapter, if you don’t believe in miracles.
> 
> A/N 2: I’m leaving on a train trip early tomorrow, and I won’t be able to post on Tuesday, as the trip will last 30 hours. Therefore, I will post chapter 8 tonight. After that, I won’t be able to post chapter 9 until Wednesday afternoon.

Chapter 7

As Gibbs watched Tony’s chest rise and fall with the hiss of the ventilator, he decided to do something he hadn’t done since he’d lost his family. After experiencing that terrible loss, he’d lost his faith in any kind of deity. Seeing Shannon and Kelly again when he’d drowned had restored his faith, though. To him that was proof there was some kind of life after death, so he decided to pray to God and beg for a miracle. He refused to think seeing them had been nothing but a hallucination caused by oxygen deprivation.

He held Tony’s hand and spoke aloud, because he thought it would mean more that way. Usually, he was a man of few words and he hoped it was enough. “I know I’ve been a bastard for a lot of years and I probably don’t deserve anything from You, but if You ever give me anything, please give me this. Please make Tony well and whole again.”

Gibbs didn’t know what else to say, so he leaned over the bed and laid his head on Tony’s chest and fell into an exhausted asleep.

He woke up an hour or so later and there didn’t seem to be any change in Tony’s condition. Then he did something else he hadn’t done in a very long time; he cried.

Once his tears had dried up, Gibbs decided to try one last thing. “Shannon, do you have any pull up there? I know what I felt when I saw you was real; that you want me to quit marrying clones of you and find something real. Well, I found that with Tony. You know that losing you and Kelly damn near broke me. Tony has his whole life ahead of him. I couldn’t take it if I lost him, too. Please, can’t you do something?”

XXXXXXXXXX

Tony woke up slowly. The first thing he was aware of was sound. He could hear a rhythmic hiss and beeping. He was very confused. The last thing he remembered was gasping for air in the bedroom of his apartment. Then he was aware of a weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in a hospital room and Gibbs was sitting in a chair next to his bed sleeping with his head resting on the left side of Tony’s chest with one arm thrown over his waist.

He wondered why Gibbs was would be in the room, but then he thought back to what had happened before he’d collapsed in his bedroom and he recalled pulling Maddie and Gibbs from the water and giving them both mouth-to-mouth. Then he remembered the kiss.

He realized the hissing sound was a ventilator, which was forcing air into his lungs every five seconds or so, and the beeping was a heart monitor. He must have been pretty sick, because he hadn’t been hooked up to a ventilator even when he had the plague. Surprisingly, the tube down his throat wasn’t bothering him too much.

He took a good look at Gibbs. The older man looked exhausted. Tony didn’t know how long he’d been in the hospital, but Gibbs had dark circles under his eyes, and even in sleep he had lines of stress on his face. Tony thought about waking Gibbs, but he decided against it. He began to stroke Gibbs’ hair and contentedly waited for him to wake on his own.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs awoke to the feeling of his hair being stroked. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembered was begging Shannon to help Tony get well. Maybe it had been a dream.

He opened his eyes and looked up to the most beautiful site he’d seen in a long time. Tony was awake and watching him with his brilliant green eyes, and all thoughts that the conversation he’d had with Shannon being a dream were gone. There was life and intelligence in those beautiful eyes, and Gibbs knew in his gut that Tony was going to be fine. He stood up and cupped Tony’s face in his hands. He leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Then he said frantically, “Thank God, Tony, you’re awake. How are you feeling? Why didn’t you wake me? Should I get the doctor? I think I should call the doctor.”

Tony rolled his eyes at Gibbs’ rapid fire questions; as if he could answer any of them with a tube down his throat.

Gibbs pushed the nurse call button. A nurse appeared at the door and Gibbs shouted at him, “Get the doctor! He’s awake!”

The nurse left, presumably to get the doctor, and Gibbs leaned over and gave Tony a hug, being careful of the breathing tube and IV.

Tony heard him whisper, “Thank you, Shannon.”

Gibbs pulled back and saw the puzzled look on Tony’s face. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

The younger man looked a little apprehensive at that and Gibbs assured him, “Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad.”

The doctor and a couple of nurses came into the room and began to examine Tony and Gibbs had to step back to give them room to work.

XXXXXXXXXX

A couple of hours after Tony woke up, Gibbs was speaking with Jenny on the phone at the nurses’ station, as he’d been kicked out of Tony’s ICU room while the doctor performed yet another test. “Yeah, he woke up a couple of hours ago… They took the tube out of his throat and he’s breathing fine… According to the doctor, he’s doin’ great… That’s right, no lasting effects, no brain damage… Yeah, it does sound like a miracle… The doctor doesn’t believe it either… Yeah, you can go ahead and tell the others… He’ll probably be released in another day or two… They just want to make sure… No, I don’t want ‘em to come here… Okay, we’ll see you tonight.” He hung up the phone in his usual abrupt manner and went to stand outside the door to Tony’s room to impatiently wait until he could get back in there where he belonged.

XXXXXXXXXX

The doctor and nurses finally left the ICU room and Gibbs was finally alone with Tony. He sat in his customary seat next to the bed and picked up Tony’s hand.

Tony found it hard to believe what the doctor had told him; that he’d been so close to death. When he found out the five-day limit had been almost up and no one had any hope that he’d wake up before then, he wondered how he’d gotten better all of sudden. The doctor could understand the pneumonia clearing up as they’d had him on IV antibiotics while he’d been comatose; what he couldn’t understand was the lack of brain damage.

After listening to Gibbs, the doctor and the nurses about what had occurred over the past five days, Tony didn’t really understand the lack of brain damage either; he was just damn grateful that he didn’t have any.

Tony picked up the cup of water from his bedside table and took a sip. Then he cleared his throat. It was still a little sore from the breathing tube. “So, Jethro, here we are, alone at last. You wanna have that talk now?”

Gibbs had been so worried over the last several days and now that Tony was awake, he was happier than he’d been in a long time, so he decided to play with him a little bit. He suppressed a smile. “Talk about what?”

“Hey, I’m the one who was supposed to have brain damage, not you. Remember the kiss when we were on the dock?”

“Oh, that. What’s to talk about?”

“Gibbs!”

“Tony, I don’t think we need to talk about it because as far as I’m concerned, we’re together and we just haven’t… consummated our relationship yet.”

“Just like that? One kiss and we’re practically married?”

Gibbs stood and gave Tony a quick kiss on the lips. “Make that two kisses. And why not? I love you and you love me. No need to make it more complicated than that.”

“You love me?”

Gibbs decided it was time to be serious. He looked Tony directly in the eyes and said, “Yeah, I do, and I have for a long time.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You know my track record, Tony. Our friendship was too important to me to risk losing it when it all went sour.”

“What’s so different now? What made you change your mind?”

“Something happened when I died that made me think it was worth the risk; that I had a chance for happiness that had been right in front of me for a long time, and I decided to take it.”

“Did you have one of those near death experiences like they talk about on all those paranormal shows? Did you see a bright light and all that?”

“It wasn’t like that, Tony. It was… different.”

“Well, can you tell me what did happen?”

Gibbs shifted uncomfortably. “Can we talk about that after you’re discharged? It was an intense experience and I don’t wanna get into it here where we can be interrupted.”

“Sure,” Tony said agreeably. If Gibbs said he’d tell him later, then he would. “What was that you said when you first woke up?”

“That’s connected to what I want to talk about later.”

“Okay. By the way, how do you know that I love you? You seem awfully sure of yourself.”

“Well, quite a while ago, I came into the office fairly late to check on a lead. You were on the phone with someone named… Alex, I think it was, and I overheard you. And given the fact that you never left NCIS, no matter how bad a bastard I was, I don’t think your feelings have changed since then.”

Tony remembered that conversation well. It had been the only time he’d called Alex from work. It had taken place after he’d been drugged and kidnapped by that psychotic waitress. Gibbs had cracked a tasteless joke when they’d come back to the office, and Tony had been a bit upset about it. A few days later, he’d called his former lover because he’d needed to talk to someone. They had remained friends after they parted ways, and Tony could talk to him about anything.

“Geez, Gibbs, that was like five years ago.”

“Yep.”

“You mean all this time-”

“No, Tony. If you’d have said anything to me back then, I probably would’ve decked you.”

“Yeah, you probably would have,” Tony said ruefully. “You were a real bastard back then.”

“Still am. Think you can handle it?”

“I’ve been handling you for years. What do you think?”

TBC


	8. Devotion Chapter 8

Chapter 8

After Gibbs’ phone call, Jenny called Ziva and instructed her to bring McGee and meet her in the lab. Then she called Ducky and told him to meet her there as well. She waited a few minutes to give them all time to get to the lab before she went down there. She didn’t want to get to the lab first and have to wait for the others to arrive, because she didn’t want face Abby’s questions about Tony. The Goth had cornered her several times already over the last few days and had grilled her relentlessly.

She found Abby, Ducky, McGee and Ziva in the lab when she got there. They were talking with each other, wondering why the director had asked them to meet her there.

Jenny cleared her throat to get their attention. They all turned and looked at her expectantly. “I have some news.”

Abby immediately began to bombard the director with questions. “Is it about Tony? Is he okay? Can we go see-”

“Abby, calm down,” Jenny interrupted. “If you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll tell you what I know.”

“Okay, I’m calm,” Abby said. “Go ahead.”

“Jethro called me a little while ago,” Jenny told them. “Tony woke up this morning.”

“Were they able to wean him from the ventilator?” Ducky asked.

“According to Jethro, he’s off the ventilator and breathing on his own,” Jenny replied.

“What about brain damage?” Ziva inquired. “You said the other day that the doctors were certain if Tony ever woke up, he’d be impaired in some way.”

“Jethro said he’s fine; no brain damage at all,” Jenny said. “The doctor doesn’t believe it. They said it’s like a miracle.”

Abby began jumping up and down in excitement. “That’s great! Tony’s gonna be okay!”

“Can we go see him now?” McGee asked.

“Jethro still says no,” Jenny replied. “He still sounded angry when I asked him about it.”

“Now that Tony’s awake and okay, Gibbs can’t keep us away anymore,” Abby protested. “Tony can make up his own mind.”

“Well, once Tony realizes that none of you have been to see him, I’m sure he’ll talk Gibbs around,” Jenny said.

“I believe Jethro is suffering from a form of displacement,” Ducky said.

“What is that?” Ziva asked.

“He could be angry with himself for being the cause of the situation which caused harm to Anthony, but he will not or cannot admit it to himself, so he directs that anger towards other people,” Ducky explained. “Although, I feel his anger towards me is more than justified, the rest of you are virtually blameless.”

“Ducky, I tried to tell Gibbs that none of you knew everything that happened at the dock that day,” Jenny stated. “But he wouldn’t listen to me.”

“I’m afraid that’s not all Jethro is angry with me about,” Ducky said. “He is particularly upset that I had him sedated without his consent.”

“But, Ducky, you did that for his own good,” Abby consoled. “We didn’t know what he was trying to tell us.”

“I never should have assumed he was only worried about Maddie Tylor. I should have let him talk to us before having him sedated.”

“Maybe you should have, but what’s done is done and can’t be changed,” Jenny said. “We have to move past it.”

“We need to do something,” Abby said. “I feel like the family’s all broken up.”

“Tony’s going to be released in a couple of days,” Jenny stated. “I think we should just give him some time. He’ll realize what’s going on soon enough and he’ll talk to Jethro. I’m sure of it.”

XXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Tony was moved to a regular room. The doctor decided to keep him for yet another day in order to advance his diet and so he could regain some strength. Even though he’d been given a clean bill of health, he had spent the last five days in bed and was somewhat weak.

Tony didn’t really see a reason why he had to stay in the hospital, since he thought he could do that kind of recovery at home, but he suspected that the doctor was convinced his miraculous recovery was temporary and he would relapse any minute. And Gibbs, being Gibbs, wouldn’t hear of Tony leaving the hospital until the doctor said he could.

Things had finally settled down after the move. Tony was watching TV with the volume down low and Gibbs was working on a crossword puzzle, occasionally calling out clues to get Tony’s input.

With the all the excitement of the previous day, Tony hadn’t had much time to think, but now that things were quiet, he felt that something was missing. Then it hit him.

“Gibbs, why hasn’t anyone from the team been by to see me?”

Gibbs shifted uncomfortably in his chair and refused to meet Tony’s eyes. “They’re at work.”

“Well, sure, they are right now, but what about last night? Do I have cooties or something? I know a couple of them are still a little pissed off about that undercover assignment, but I was at death’s door. You’d think they’d come visit me in the hospital. At the very least, Abby and Ducky would be here.”

Gibbs couldn’t let Tony think that the team was angry at him. “It’s nothing you did.”

“Well, why then?”

Gibbs looked at the floor. “I sort of kicked ‘em out of the hospital the morning you were brought in.”

“Why would you do that?”

Gibbs explained to Tony what happened that day and how angry he was that no one from the team had checked to make sure Tony was all right the night he’d gotten sick.

“So, let me get this straight,” Tony said. “No one from the team called me or realized I needed help, so you banned them from the hospital?”

“It’s not quite that simple, Tony. You nearly died, and they didn’t give you a thought.”

“They didn’t know what happened at the dock. I didn’t get a chance to tell them. We were too busy at the time working the scene.”

“Well, they could have at least checked in with you to make sure you were all right when you didn’t show up at the hospital.”

“Jethro, they’re not mind readers and they were preoccupied because they were worried about you.”

“They shouldn’t have been so worried about me that they completely forgot about you.”

“Haven’t you ever been preoccupied by something and forgotten about something else that was just as important?”

Gibbs looked at the floor as he thought about that. “Not that I can think of.”

“Am I important to you?”

Gibbs looked back up at Tony at his quiet words. “What kind of question is that?” He asked indignantly. “Of course, you are. You’ve always been very important to me.”

“Remember when I came back to work after having the plague?”

“Yeah. I remember you came back too early and you looked like crap.”

“Right after Kate… died.” Tony swallowed thickly. Even after all this time, he still had a hard time talking about what happened to her. “Do you remember what you had me do?”

Gibbs was silent for a minute while he tried to remember. “After we cleared the scene and Ducky removed the… ” Gibbs stopped that thought and then continued to answer Tony’s question. “Anyway, I sent you and McGee look for the sniper’s nest…” His eyes widened as he realized the implications of that. It had been raining that night and it had taken the two young men hours to find the nest. He rubbed his face in frustration. “I wasn’t thinking, Tony. I never should’ve had you to do that. Why didn’t you say something?”

“If I didn’t want to do it at the time, believe me, I would’ve said something, but I wanted to find Ari and make him pay just as badly as you did. I’m just saying, getting preoccupied happens to everybody, even you, and you should cut ‘em some slack.”

Gibbs gave Tony his most stubborn look. “This is different.”

“How so?”

Gibbs looked at the floor again. “I don’t know. It just is.”

TBC


	9. Devotion Chapter 9

Chapter 9

“Look, Gibbs,” Tony said. “All of us share some of the blame in this, some more than others, including me.”

“You’re the one who nearly died, Tony.” Gibbs looked Tony in the eyes. “How can you possibly be to blame?”

“I knew my breathing wasn’t right all afternoon. I was coughing and getting short of breath. I could’ve said something to somebody.”

“I’m sure if you knew how bad it was gonna get, you would have.”

“Isn’t it a shame that I can’t see into the future?” Tony asked sarcastically. “That’s right up there with reading minds. And if you still want to play the blame game, you should take a look in the mirror.”

“What do you mean by that?” Gibbs had a look on his face that his team recognized as being one they usually saw right before they got slapped on the back of the head.

That didn’t stop Tony from speaking his mind. “I mean, you figured out what was going on and took off without telling anyone what you were doing. If you would’ve taken the team for backup, it wouldn’t have happened the way it did, and more than likely no one would’ve ended up in the river.”

“Tony, I had to help Maddie,” Gibbs said, pleading for understanding.

“I know that. I understand and I don’t blame you, but you didn’t have to do it alone.”

“What I had planned wasn’t exactly by the book.”

Tony scoffed. “Like we’ve ever let that stop us before.” He noted that Gibbs was starting to look a little less stubborn, so he continued to press his point. “Besides, everything turned out okay in the end. You shouldn’t keep blaming the others for something they didn’t even know they should be worried about in the first place.”

“What about what Ducky did? You think I should just forget about it?”

“Well, I can understand why you’re mad about that. If he sedated me without my consent, I’d be pissed off, too.”

“I don’t know if I can let it go, Tony.”

“Look, you and Ducky have been friends for a long time. It’s up to you how you handle it. But do you really want to throw all that away?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, this is Ducky we’re talking about. I’m sure he had a good reason for doing what he did. All I can tell you is to listen to what he has to say and then make your decision about what to do.”

Gibbs thought about Tony’s words. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to listen to Ducky’s reason for sedating him when he’d been in the hospital, but he’d been holding on to his mad for so long, he didn’t really know how to let it go, so he didn’t say anything.

“Look, Gibbs,” Tony continued. “Give ‘em a break, and after what happened this time, I’m sure nothing like this will ever happen again.”

“How can you know that for sure?”

“I don’t know,” Tony said. “You’re the kind of guy who likes rules. We can make up a new one.”

“And what would the rule say?”

“Well, maybe not an actual rule. We can set up some kind of a system, you know, like a buddy system.”

“How exactly would that work, Tony?”

“Everyone on the team can have an assigned buddy and if something bad happens, the buddy will check on him or her,” Tony explained. “McGee and Abby can be assigned buddies, Ziva and Ducky, and you and me. The person whose buddy is hurt or sick can have a backup buddy to check on them. We can draw straws or pick names out of a hat or something.”

Gibbs looked at Tony and laughed softly. “Tony, I think that may be the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard.”

“You have a better one?” When Gibbs didn’t say anything, Tony continued. “It’s a good way to never leave a man, or woman, behind.”

“Maybe.”

“Jethro, I really want you to go talk to the team and clear this up.” Tony gave Gibbs his best pleading look, puppy-dog eyes and all. “Or if you’d rather, I’ll call them up and get them all here and we can hash everything out in my hospital room.”

It wasn’t so much Tony’s words that changed Gibbs’ mind, but the look that finally broke him. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to resist it. It was a good thing Tony had never looked at him like that at work; he wouldn’t have ever gotten anything accomplished.

“Oh, all right,” Gibbs said reluctantly. “I’ll go talk to them later.” He had to admit to himself that Tony was right about who was to blame; every one of them could claim a share, and they couldn’t continue on with the team divided like it was. Both of them had to go back to work eventually, and they needed to be able to get along in order to do their jobs. He knew that despite how much his team teased and insulted each other, they were devoted to one another, and each of them would do anything for the others. He’d decide what to do about Ducky after he heard what the doctor had to say.

“Did we just have our first argument?” Tony asked sweetly.

Gibbs turned his attention back to Tony. “It was more like… a discussion.”

“I’d like to reclassify that discussion as an argument.”

“Why, Tony? Do you like having arguments?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Jethro.” Tony grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Do you like having make-up sex?”

XXXXXXXXXX

An hour or so later, Gibbs and Tony were watching a basketball game Tony had found on TV, when Tony said seriously, “There’s something we need to discuss, Jethro.”

“What’s that?”

“You went off grid and there should be some serious consequences to that.”

Gibbs looked pointedly at the hospital bed Tony was lying in. “You mean besides the obvious?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Tony, what’re you talking about?”

“I’m talking about my suit; my very nice, very expensive, suit. I’d tell you the name of the designer, but I know it’d go right over your head.”

Gibbs raised one eyebrow. “Your suit?”

“Yeah, my suit, shoes and watch. They’re all ruined. I’m willing to let the cell phone slide because it’s NCIS property, but the other stuff… ”

Gibbs realized Tony was teasing him, and after what Gibbs had done to the younger man the day before when he asked Gibbs about the kiss, he guessed it was only fair, so he decided to take the bait. “What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Well, don’t you think you should replace my stuff?”

“Tony, you spend more on one suit than I spend on my entire wardrobe in a year. I’d probably have to take out a second mortgage on my house.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you do all your clothes shopping at Sears.”

“What’s wrong with Sears?”

“If you don’t already know, then I’m not gonna tell you.”

Gibbs stood up from his chair and leaned over Tony and looked him in the eyes. “I’ll you what.”

Gibbs was so close to him that Tony could feel the heat emanating from his body and Tony’s eyes dilated with arousal. “What?”

Gibbs leaned in even closer and kissed Tony long and deep with a lot of tongue. He pulled away only when Tony was gasping for air. “I’ll think about it.” Then he sat back down in his chair like nothing happened.

Tony shot Gibbs a glare. “You’re a bastard.”

Gibbs smiled. “Guilty as charged.”

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all the emails, reviews and alerts. I usually respond individually to emails and reviews, but I just got off the train from a 30-hour trip, and I couldn’t - so THANKS EVERYBODY!!!

Chapter 10

Later in the day after lunch, Gibbs went to the nurses’ station to call Jenny. He didn’t want Tony listening in because he knew Tony would object, but Gibbs just couldn’t bring himself to leave the younger man alone at the hospital, and if he was going to talk with the team, he wanted Jenny to come and sit with Tony while he was gone.

When Jenny arrived, Gibbs gave Tony a quick peck on the lips and then headed to the Navy Yard. Once he reached NCIS headquarters, he decided he should talk with Ducky first, since that would likely be the most difficult conversation.

When he walked into Autopsy, he could see Ducky sitting at his desk in his office having a cup of tea. Gibbs went over to the office and stood next to the desk and just looked at the medical examiner.

Ducky looked up at his visitor. “Jethro, I heard the good news. I’m so glad Anthony is going to be all right.”

Gibbs sat in the chair next to the desk. “Yeah, he’s gonna be fine.”

“I know that’s not what you want to talk about.”

Gibbs glared at Ducky. “You got that right.”

“What is it you’d like to talk about, Jethro?”

“I just want to know one thing. Why?”

“I presume you’d like to know why I asked the emergency room physician to sedate you.”

“Yep.”

“Do you have time to listen to the entire story?”

“That’s why I’m here, Ducky.”

Ducky took a sip of tea and then put the cup down. “Did you know that I haven’t always been a medical examiner?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“When I graduated from medical school, I was a family physician. I treated all sorts of ailments and gave the best treatment and advice I could, but my patients did not always adhere to their prescribed treatment regimen or listen to my advice. I lost many patients because of that. It became very disheartening to me.”

“So that’s why you changed specialties?”

“Yes.” Ducky took another sip of tea. “I decided that patients who were already beyond my help would be less discouraging.”

“How does that explain why you sedated me the other day?”

“Since coming to work here at NCIS, I’ve made many friends that I care deeply about. You are one of those friends, Jethro. I’ve watched over the years as you got hurt time and time again, and then check yourself out of the hospital prematurely, refuse to follow your physicians’ advice and always return to work much sooner than you should have. After you nearly drowned, I thought it would be best for your health, and my peace of mind, if you got some rest and stayed in the hospital at least overnight.”

Gibbs ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I can understand that, Ducky. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t let me say what I needed to say before you knocked me out.”

“I thought if I didn’t act quickly enough, you’d get away, so to speak.”

Gibbs thought about what his friend had said. He understood why Ducky had sedated him. He might not agree with him, but he understood. In the end, Ducky had done it because he cared about him and he was worried.

He looked at Ducky and sighed. “I understand why you did it, Duck, and I’m willing to let it go, this time. We’ve been friends for too long to just throw it away.”

“Thank-”

Gibbs interrupted, “I’m not done yet.”

“Go on then.”

“It just better not happen again. I had something important that needed to be said, and Tony nearly died because I wasn’t allowed to say it.” Gibbs took a deep breath. “If I hadn’t found him when I did…”

“You can rest assured, Jethro, I have learned my lesson,” Ducky stated. “I may find the occasion that you need to be sedated again, but I will always allow you to speak first.”

“I know you were worried about my health and you were trying to look after me, but Tony needed someone to look after him, too.”

“I fear young Anthony disregards his own well being as much as you do, but I shall endeavor to do better by him in the future.” Ducky looked truly remorseful.

“I’d appreciate that. It was really close, Duck.”

“That’s what I gathered from the reports the director gave us. The fact that I was worried about you does not excuse my lack of attention to Anthony’s welfare. Even though he didn’t mention everything he’d done that day, I did know that he’d been in the cold water and I should have seen to it that he got medical attention.”

Gibbs decided it was time to change the subject and ask his friend something that had been bothering him since Tony had been admitted to the hospital. “What I don’t understand is how Tony got so sick from inhaling a little water. I know I drowned and if Tony hadn’t done CPR on me, I’d be dead right now. I inhaled a hell of a lot more than he did and I didn’t get sick.”

“Well, Anthony’s lungs are scarred and yours aren’t, but if you truly did drown as you say you did, then it’s nothing short of a miracle that you’re alive.”

“I think that’s just what it was; a miracle.”

“According to Jennifer, it’s a miracle Anthony is alive as well.”

“Yep.” Gibbs could have elaborated, but that was a story he was only willing to share with Tony.

“You and Anthony must have a devoted guardian angel watching over you both.”

Gibbs smiled. “Maybe even two.”

“Jethro, what about the rest of the team?”

“I wanted to talk with you first.” Gibbs stood up to leave. “Can you call up to the bullpen and get Ziva and McGee down to Abby’s lab?”

XXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs expected several things when he walked into the lab, but what in actually happened wasn’t one of those things. As soon as he walked in the door, Abby held out her hand to McGee and said, “Pay up.”

McGee reluctantly fished his wallet out of his pocket, took out a few bills and placed them in Abby’s hand.

Abby turned to Gibbs and said, “Thanks, Gibbs.”

This wasn’t the reception he’d been expecting at all. “For what?”

“For showing up today,” Abby said as she tucked the money away in her pocket. “I bet McGee that Tony would talk you into coming today, and McGee didn’t think you’d show up until tomorrow.”

“Glad I could be of help. Wait a minute, you two knew Tony would talk me into coming here to talk to all of you?”

“Of course,” Abby said. “We knew once Tony explained to you that we didn’t know what happened at the dock, he wouldn’t rest until nobody was mad at anybody else. We just disagreed on which day you’d show up.”

And just like that, it seemed things were back to normal.

“How is Tony doing today, Gibbs?” Ziva asked.

“He’s fine, Ziva,” Gibbs answered. “He’s gonna be discharged tomorrow.”

McGee did shuffle his feet uncomfortably. “We really are sorry, Boss, we-”

“There’s no need for any of you to apologize. Tony and I had a long talk and he told me he hadn’t mentioned to anyone what he did that day, and like he said, none of you are mind readers. I really had no right kicking all of you out of the hospital.”

Abby came over to Gibbs and took hold of his arm. “You don’t have to explain, Gibbs. Ducky told us all about your displacement problem.”

“Displacement problem?”

“Yeah, he said you were really angry at yourself but couldn’t admit it and so you took it out on whoever else happened to be there, which was us. We understand.”

Gibbs thought he might have to have another little talk with Ducky, but he supposed there was a grain of truth in that idea. Maybe subconsciously he did blame himself for what happened to Tony, and had lashed out at the team as a convenient target for his anger.

“Okay, listen up everybody,” Gibbs said. “I’d like to tell you about a plan so nothing like what happened last week happens again.” He then went on to explain the buddy system Tony had come up with. “So what do you guys think?”

“That’s a great idea, Gibbs,” Abby said enthusiastically. “No offense, but I know you didn’t come up with that idea yourself.”

“It was Tony’s idea,” Gibbs admitted.

“We can call it Operation Team Devotion,” Abby said, so excited she was practically bouncing up and down.

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

“What?” Abby said. “That sounds way better than the buddy system. Besides, that name’s been used before. We need a new name for it.

“I think it is a good idea. No one will be forgotten or overlooked again,” Ziva stated.

“Tony wouldn’t have gotten so sick if one of us had checked on him when he didn’t show up to the hospital,” McGee commented.

“Everyone one of us, including me and Tony, had a part in that,” Gibbs said. “One of you could have checked on him, Ducky could’ve checked him out at the scene, I could’ve taken backup with me when I went to find Maddie and Tony could’ve told someone what happened at the dock, or called for help when he first started feeling sick. With this system, nothing like what happened to Tony will happen to anyone on the team again.”

“So, we can go see Miracle Boy now, right Gibbs?” Abby asked.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “Miracle Boy?”

“Well, the director said that you said that the doctor said that it was a miracle that Tony woke up with his brain okay, so, yeah, Miracle Boy.”

Gibbs head spun trying to decipher what Abby meant, but he managed to get the gist of it. “I guess that’s fitting.” He shrugged. “He’s gonna be discharged tomorrow, but you can go see him tonight. He’s looking forward to seeing all of you.”

“You’re not mad at Ducky any more, are you Gibbs?” Abby asked anxiously.

Gibbs gave her a peck on the cheek. “No, Abs, I’m not mad at Ducky.”

TBC


	11. Devotion Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to little_janie, samtdog and wintermute_lj for all your help and suggestions. And thanks to all the readers for the alerts, emails and reviews.

Chapter 11

The next day, Tony was ecstatic. He’d had a great visit with the team the night before, and he assured all of them that he wasn’t angry with them. He could tell just from the way they acted that they felt bad enough, and it was as much his fault as anyone else’s that he got so sick.

Another big reason he was happy was he was finally being discharged from the hospital. The only instruction he’d been given was to take it easy for a few days. The doctor still couldn’t believe that he had recovered completely from his illness with no brain damage and his lungs in pretty much the same condition they were in before he’d gotten sick.

Gibbs took Tony to his apartment to get some things, because even though Tony didn’t really need to have anyone with him, Gibbs wasn’t about to let him be alone. Tony groused about being treated like a child who couldn’t take care of himself, but not too loudly, because he wanted to spend time with Gibbs anyway.

When they arrived at the apartment, Tony went into his bedroom to pack some clothes. When he was done with that he went into the bathroom to his shampoo and some other things. He saw his suit on the floor, right where he’d left it several days before. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. He found a garbage bag in the cabinet and put his suit inside to be thrown away.

While Tony was packing, Gibbs spotted the plastic bag containing his wet clothes that he’d thrown in the corner of the room several days before. He’d forgotten all about it. He went over and picked it up and opened it. Judging from the smell, just about everything in the bag was a lost cause.

He fished each item out one at a time to make sure there wasn’t anything in any of the pockets that was salvageable. In his jacket pocket, he found a warped picture. It was the picture that Abby had taken of him and Maddie with her cell phone. He put the picture in his pocket and stuffed the smelly clothes back into the bag. Once he was finished with that, he waited for Tony on the couch.

A few minutes later Tony came into the room carrying a suitcase and a garbage bag.

“You really need to take the garbage out right now?” Gibbs asked.

“It’s my suit and it’s stinking up the apartment,” Tony replied. “I’m noticing it doesn’t smell so good in here, either.”

Gibbs picked up the plastic bag, which he’d set on the floor next to him, “My clothes from the other day.”

“What are they doing here?”

“I left them here the night I found you sick in your room.”

Tony put his bags down and sat next to Gibbs on the couch. “How’d you know I needed help anyway?”

“I remember thinking at the dock that I’d make sure you got checked out when you got to the hospital, but when I woke up you weren’t there. I told you before what happened then. I wanted to check on you, but Ducky sedated me before I could do anything.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question, Jethro.”

“I can’t really explain it. I just had a feeling that you needed me.”

Tony leaned over and gave Gibbs a kiss. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for your gut.”

“Me either.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Later, Gibbs led Tony into his house. He pointed at the couch. “Sit. I’ll fix us some lunch.”

“I can help fix lunch, Gibbs. I’m not an invalid.”

“You need rest.”

“I’m tired of resting.”

Gibbs grinned in triumph. “There, you just admitted you’re tired, so sit.”

Defeated, Tony sat on the couch. There was no arguing with Gibbs when he got like this.

Gibbs fixed them a light lunch and joined Tony on the couch.

After they were done eating, Tony asked, “Gibbs, you remember when you said that as far as you’re concerned, we’re together, we just haven’t consummated our relationship yet?”

“Yes, Tony, I remember, and I know what you’re thinking and you can forget it. You just got out of the hospital.”

“C’mon, Gibbs. You heard the doctor. I’m fine. Like Abby said last night, I’m Miracle Boy.”

Gibbs shook his head. “I think we should wait a while. You’re still weak. Besides, maybe we should take things slowly.”

“Gibbs, five years is slow enough,” Tony said. “And I’m not that weak. Please, don’t make me wait any longer.” Tony then shot Gibbs that pleading look, the same one he’d given him in the hospital when he’d been encouraging Gibbs to talk to the team, puppy-dog eyes and all.

‘Crap!’ Gibbs thought to himself. ‘He’s already figured out he can get to me with that look.’

Aloud Gibbs said, “All right, but we do this my way. Got it?”

“Sure, no problem, Jethro.” Tony tried very hard not to let the triumph he felt show in his face.

“Go up to the bedroom and wait for me. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” As Tony started to leave the room he added, “And just for future reference, don’t ever use that look on me at work. We clear?”

Tony turned to face Gibbs with an irrepressible grin. “Gotcha, Boss.” Then he headed for the bedroom.

Gibbs made a little detour and then joined Tony in the bedroom about ten minutes later. “Lay down on the bed.” Once Tony was on the bed, Gibbs climbed on the bed with him and then slowly undressed the younger man, kissing the bare skin as it was exposed. He thought to himself how easily Tony had talked him into this; he’d been waiting a long time for this, too.

Once Tony was completely naked, Gibbs grabbed Tony’s hands and moved them above his head. “Wrap your hands around the bars and don’t move.” The doctor may have given Tony a clean bill of health, but Gibbs didn’t want him to overexert himself and end up back in the hospital.

Tony complied. “I knew you’d be as bossy in bed as you are at work.”

“Not usually.” Gibbs lay down next to Tony’s naked body, still fully clothed. He licked Tony’s jaw. “But this time, I want to do all the work.”

Tony thought it felt strangely erotic to feel Gibbs’ fully clothed body next to his naked one. “Jethro, you don’t need to treat me like spun glass. I’m not gonna break.”

Gibbs looked Tony in the eyes. “Humor me. I just recently watched you on life support for nearly five days. I was afraid you could die at any moment. You were nearly at the end of that five-day limit, and I was gonna have to tell the doctor to take you off the respirator, even though I knew you wouldn’t survive if I did. But I made you a promise and I was gonna keep it. I came so close to losing you. You’re gonna have to give me a little time to get over that.”

Tony didn’t think he’d ever heard Gibbs say that much at one time, and what he said made him feel bad. He hadn’t even considered what Gibbs had gone through while he’d been on the ventilator. The director had told him Gibbs had only left his side to shower and change once a day. “I’m sorry, Jethro. I didn’t even think about what you went through. I had a little taste of that when I had to quit doing CPR on you to work on Maddie. I didn’t want to give up on you, but I knew you would’ve wanted me to do my best to save her life.”

“You did the right thing. You did exactly what I wanted you to do. You know me better than anybody else.” Gibbs gave Tony a quick kiss. “Now, enough with the serious talk.” He continued in a more playful tone, “I think you said something earlier about wanting to consummate our relationship?”

“I’ll lay here as instructed and not move. Consummate away.”

TBC


	12. Devotion Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As if he’d just heard the starting signal at the beginning of a race, Gibbs began to devour Tony’s mouth, snaking his tongue inside, mapping every inch. He was so happy this happening. After all the time he’d spent with Tony in the hospital wondering if he’d live or die, he could now show Tony just how much he was loved. He also knew just how fleeting life could be, and he didn’t want to waste time any more than Tony did.

Tony moaned under the all out assault, returning the kiss with equal enthusiasm. When the need to breathe became overwhelming, Gibbs left Tony’s mouth and he kissed and nipped a trail down Tony’s succulent body, finally ending at the treasure between his legs.

Gibbs’ tongue darted out and slowly licked the cock standing at attention before him. Then he suddenly engulfed Tony in one swift motion and began to suck and hum alternately.

Tony nearly screamed as the warmth enveloping his dick, bucking up involuntarily. “Oh, God!”

Gibbs took hold of Tony’s hips and gently held him down and continued his ministrations. When he felt Tony was about to come, he let the cock slip from his mouth.

“Jethro, please,” Tony begged, sounding almost pitiful.

“Just a minute, Tony.” Gibbs pushed himself up to give Tony a quick kiss. “I’ll take care of you.” He stood up and quickly removed his clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor. He climbed back onto the bed and then straddled Tony’s hips. He reached into the top drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. He put the condom on Tony and then squeezed some lube onto his hand and slicked him up.

“What are you doing?” Tony asked. “I thought you were-”

“You thought wrong,” Gibbs interrupted as he raised himself a little. He took Tony’s cock in one hand to hold it steady and put his other hand on the headboard for balance. Then he slowly squatted down, impaling himself on Tony’s cock, eliciting a loud moan from his lover.

Gibbs hissed as the shaft entered his body. He stopped for a minute to give himself time to adjust to the intrusion, then he continued to lower himself until he was sitting on Tony’s lap.

“Jethro, you could have hurt-”

“Don’t worry, I prepared myself earlier. This is perfect.” Gibbs then began to raise and lower himself slowly. He paused to bend down and give Tony a kiss. “You’re perfect.” He sat back up began to move up and down again.

“Shit, Jethro, you feel so good.” Tony’s hands clenched and unclenched around the bars of the headboard. He was finding it very difficult to not touch his lover. His need to further connect with Gibbs was nearly overwhelming. “Let me touch you, please.”

Gibbs released the top of the headboard and reached forward, taking both of Tony’s hands in his. He intertwined their fingers and used Tony’s hands for balance as he raised and lowered himself faster. He shifted himself a little so Tony’s cock was hitting his prostate.

Tony fought the impulse to take over and roll them both over so he could pound Gibbs into the mattress, but he’d told Gibbs they’d do this his way. Gibbs’ speed increased even more and Tony forgot about that impulse as coherent thoughts fled his mind and left nothing but pure pleasure in their place.

Sweat began to bead on their bodies as Gibbs’ speed increased. Soon Tony was thrusting upward as Gibbs moved downward, and they were meeting each other halfway. As Gibbs felt his climax approaching, he pulled on Tony’s hand and wrapped both their hands around his cock, and together they began to jerk him off.

Tony felt the familiar tingling at the base of his spine and knew he was close. He sped up his strokes on Gibbs’ cock, which forced Gibbs to also speed up; he wanted them to come together. They both roared out their release and Gibbs collapsed in a boneless heap on top Tony.

When Tony caught his breath he smiled. “Jethro, you can consummate me any time you want to.”

Gibbs chuckled as he carefully sat up and climbed out of the bed. He went into the bathroom and came back a minute later with a washcloth. He cleaned the two of them up and tossed the cloth towards the bathroom and then climbed back into bed. He gathered Tony in his arms and pulled the covers over them both. Even though it was early afternoon, taking a nap sounded good.

Tony idly trailed one hand over Gibbs chest. “Can you tell me what happened in the river, Jethro?”

Gibbs was silent for a minute while he thought of what to say.

Tony backtracked, thinking he’d overstepped some boundary. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. If you’ve changed your mind-”

“I want to tell you, Tony. I was just thinking of how to start.” Gibbs rubbed a hand soothingly up and down Tony’s back. “When I was still in that car, after you left with Maddie, I saw Shannon and Kelly.”

“Oh, Jethro, I’m-”

Gibbs put a finger over Tony’s lips, silencing his words. “It wasn’t a bad thing. Just let me finish.”

“Okay.”

“When I saw my girls, I wanted to join them more than anything. But they didn’t want me to. Shannon didn’t say anything, but I could sense that she wanted me to move on and find some happiness again. I could see that they were happy and safe and that they’d wait for me. Kelly even told me to ‘go back’, so I did.” Gibbs looked Tony in the eyes. “Do you believe me?”

“Of course I do, Jethro. You’ve never lied to be before.” Tony was silent for a minute while he gathered his thoughts. “So I have them to thank that you didn’t die on me that day.”

“And I have Shannon to thank that you didn’t die on me either, Tony.”

Tony looked puzzled. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“When you were sick, I did something I haven’t done in a long time.”

“What was that?”

“I prayed.”

“I didn’t think you believed in that kind of thing.”

“I haven’t for a long time, but seeing Shannon and Kelly changed that. So, I prayed to God to not take you away from me. Either He didn’t answer, or if He did, the answer was no. I guess I’ve been too much of a bastard to be granted any favors.”

“But I didn’t die.”

“When that didn’t work, I asked Shannon for her help.”

Tony turned his head to look at Gibbs. “Since I’m still alive, she must have said yes.”

“She wanted me to be happy, so she gave you back to me.” Gibbs leaned down a little to give Tony a kiss. He pulled back and said, “Tony, you know I was completely devoted to Shannon and Kelly when we were together. You wouldn’t have recognized me if we’d known each other back then. I was a loving husband and a doting father, the whole cliché. I wasn’t a bastard at all.”

Tony snuggled further into Gibbs’ arms. “Ever since I found out about them, I never thought any differently. I put a lot of pieces together after that; how good with kids you are and how gentle and kind you are to widows.”

Gibbs tightened his arms around Tony, holding him as close as possible. “I do want you to know that even though I’ll never forget them, I’m completely devoted to you now. I may not love you the same way I loved Shannon, but I love you just as much.”

Tony turned his head and kissed Gibbs. “I love you, too.”

Gibbs kissed the side of Tony’s head and then started to rub his back, and it wasn’t long before the younger man fell asleep. A short time after that, Gibbs fell asleep, too.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs woke from his nap about an hour later. He was still holding Tony in his arms. He gently kissed the side of Tony’s head and then slipped out of bed, being careful to not wake him. Gibbs knew Tony would never admit it, but he needed the rest. He quietly got dressed and left the room.

Gibbs went down into the basement and crossed the room to his work bench, where Kelly’s lunchbox/time capsule still sat. The picture of Kelly and Maddie was in front of it. He pulled the picture of Maddie and him from his pants pocket and placed it on top of the other picture, so it looked like the three of them were together. He picked up the lunchbox and a small garden shovel and ran up the stairs.

He went to the living room and put the lunchbox and shovel on the coffee table. He retrieved his old picture album from the bookshelf and sat on the couch and started flipping through it. When he reached his favorite picture of Shannon he pulled it out. He studied the picture for a few minutes, running his fingers down her face. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Gibbs took a deep breath and then opened the lunchbox and put the picture of Shannon in it along with Kelly’s things and then closed it. Then he picked up the lunchbox and the shovel and headed out of the house to the backyard. He walked over to the bushes where he’d dug up the lunchbox several days ago and started to dig.

Once the hole was big enough, he put the lunchbox in it and then covered it up. When he was finished he sat there thinking for a while. He could feel it; his heart had finally healed and he had found love again; the kind of love that lasts, the kind of love he’d shared with Shannon.

He could finally lay Shannon and Kelly to rest and live a full, happy life. He’d never trade the years he had with them for anything, but when he remembered them from now on, he’d remember all the happy times they’d shared, not the pain he felt at losing them.

He brushed his hands off and headed back into the house. He knew for certain that he was truly in love with Tony, because even though he’d rather pull his own teeth out with pliers than go shopping, he was actually going to wake Tony up and take him shopping for that new suit he owed him.

End


End file.
